Losing the Three Most Important Men in My Life
By: Tasha Neel

My dad was hands down my best friend. He was always a guiding light in my life. He had the best advice and was completely truthful no matter what I asked him. He was a huge supporter of my going back to college to finish my degree. It was hard getting back into the studying routine but my dad always made sure I was on the right track again. I was at the hospital when he passed away, and I am thankful I had the support of the Grief & Loss Center to get through all those emotions. My dad passed away in 2021 at 66 years old after his heart gave out.

My boyfriend of almost two years passed away in 2016 and that is when my life completely stopped before my eyes. We had lived together across the highway from where the Texas Rangers played and had so many plans in life. He was a Texas country singer/songwriter just getting his feet wet and extremely talented. He passed away at 30 years old of hypertensive cardiovascular disease.

My stepdad was a huge constant in my life growing up. He was my softball coach, and I have wonderful memories from my youth involving him. I did not grieve his death until long after he passed. I had many built-up emotions that I had no clue I had. Thankfully, the Young Adults Group had been founded at the Grief and Loss Center after I had been going to the Center for the grief of my boyfriend. My stepdad passed away at 49 years old in 2010 from a massive heart attack.

These deaths were sudden and shook my world each time. In 2016, I was completely lost on what to do in my life. I thankfully found the Grief & Loss Center after a quick Google search. I met Laurie and my whole world changed. I attended a Spouse/Partner Loss Group but was extremely hesitant to attend. I had lost my boyfriend and not my husband. I quickly learned that grief is just love. I was able to speak about things that were so deep and raw. Many of us in the group could relate, and I was thankful to find the support. I had most of them attend my wedding back in September, and they are just a wonderful group of women. I have been able to find space to love a new man and get married last year. I continued going to the Center to volunteer with SAM’s Place, gathered auction items for the annual dinner for the Grief & Loss Center, joined the Young Adult Group to speak about my stepdad’s death, and facilitated a Young Women’s Group at the Center before going back to college to finish my degree in Fall 2018.

I also used to travel as an outlet for my grief. I went on trips with family and friends, but I learned so much about myself when I went on trips by myself. I went on several trips to New York City where I would wander around by myself exploring the city. It was an amazing experience being in another city where no one knew my story or my name. I even went to Paris, France by myself for 10 days in 2017 with no phone service. I had Wi-Fi occasionally at night to check in with my family. I had finally built the confidence through all the hard work on my grief journey at the Grief & Loss Center to go travel by myself. I encourage everyone on their grief journey to try new things and make yourself a priority. It is so easy to just listen to other people and their advice but take a moment to sit back to ask yourself what you really want in life. Who knows, you might also book that dream trip you’ve always wanted to go on too!

The most important thing I have learned through the Center is that it won’t always hurt this much. I tell everyone I know who has lost a loved one to call Laurie at the Grief & Loss Center. My life has forever changed by the love and support I had through the groups and volunteering at the Grief & Loss Center.