Embracing grief is like hugging a cactus. It’s big, filled with sharp barbs and excruciatingly painful. Some choose to walk around the cactus. Others turn and run the other way. Some stand in place, close their eyes and pretend it’s not there. No matter how hard we try to ignore it and how intimidating it is, hugging the cactus is the only healthy way to make our way through the wilderness of grief.
Hugging the cactus is not for the faint of heart. It takes courage to walk up to it, wrap our arms around it, and hug it with all our might. It takes unbelievable strength to continue to embrace it even when the pain demands that we let go. It takes immeasurable discipline to fight the temptation to release it and run as far from it as we can when our hearts grow weary.
Somewhere along the way when we least expect it, the cactus morphs into a teddy bear. The intensity of our grief lowers and the pain becomes more manageable. We finally can breathe a little easier and find relief in hugging something much softer and more comforting. Sometimes we’ll find a thorn in the teddy bear. They are painful, but much less debilitating than the sharp barbs of the cactus.
You will make your way through the wilderness of grief, but the journey begins by hugging the cactus.