On most tombstones and grave markers we find two dates – the deceased’s birthdate followed by the date of their death. The birthdate is typically a day of celebration as a new life comes into the world. It’s filled with promise and hope. The death date often elicits a moment of sorrow as it marks the end of a life. It’s filled with sadness and finality.
Grief work mainly focuses on the end date and how to rebuild life in the days that follow. Grief tends to draw attention to the tough, difficult moments that hold the memories and visuals of the closing of life. This season of grief provides the opportunity to process the loss of our loved one and to grieve in a healthy way.
Somewhere along the way the intensity of the pain begins to decrease allowing soothing, happy memories to resurface. Our loved one was so much more than a birthdate and a death date. The little dash holds the beauty and fullness of life they lived between their birth and death dates. That simple dash reveals the joy they brought us, the precious times we shared, and the meaning and purpose they fulfilled during their time on this earth.
The dash is hidden by our grief in the initial days and months following their death. As we grow in our grief, we begin the search for the dash. We want to remember all of who they were, not just the ending. We long to remember everything about them including the beautiful and hard times we shared with them.
As you continue your grief journey, hold on to the hope that the ending of your loved one’s life will become less vivid as you move closer to finding the dash. When you finally find it, you’ll reclaim the joyful memories and the true essence of all they were. Until then, keep moving forward. The dash is just ahead.
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Rebuilding Lives After Loss
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