A Mother’s Love, A Soldier’s Struggle
By: Joanna Cox

My son, Travis Michael Livingston, was a veteran who served as a Navy Corpsman in Afghanistan at the young age of 23 as a medic. As a corpsman, he took care of his fellow soldiers earning him the nickname “Doc”.  

During his tours of duty, Travis experienced more trauma than anyone should experience in a lifetime.  Not only did he lose friends, he lost soldiers he tried to save, and this had a profoundly devastating effect on him.

When he returned from Afghanistan, Travis had significant injuries requiring surgery. As his pain became more and more intolerable, he was given opioids to manage the pain. This led to his addiction to pain medications.  

Travis worked hard to beat his addiction and eventually moved from California to Texas to be with his stepdad and me. He started his life over again by getting involved with the Adaptive Training Foundation (ATF) where he found support and comradery with other veterans as he continued healing physically and mentally.

Travis was determined to provide employment for disabled veterans so the two of us started a business together providing jobs for those these men and women who had paid a huge price for serving our country. I truly felt his life was moving in the right direction. Then COVID hit in 2020 causing him to feel very isolated and lonely. This led to his relapse.

We worked with him all summer trying to help him beat his addiction, but then he hurt his back while working out. He was in so much pain he couldn’t sleep. He eventually found some “help for him to sleep.”  Unfortunately, he didn’t realize it was laced with fentanyl. I found him the next morning when I tried to awaken him to go to a doctor’s appointment. He was only 32 years old.

Every year on Travis’ birthday, I would send him a message reminding him that the day he was born was one of the three happiest days of my life including the births of his brother and sister. September 15, 2020, is now the worst day of my life.

It was after Travis’ death that I realized how many lives he had touched. People came from all over the country and from different parts of the world to tell me about the Travis I really didn’t know. They told me how he changed and saved the lives of so many. He truly was humble and kind, the type of man every mother hopes to raise. I was so proud of the man he was. I just wish he could have saved his own life.

After his death, I looked for grief counseling and was referred to the Grief and Loss Center.  Just a few weeks after losing Travis I was emotionally raw, but I called the center and talked with Laurie. It was at that time that I knew she was the person I needed to walk with me through this new journey called grief.  She was so caring, loving, sympathetic, empathetic and made me feel like she knew Travis.

I became a part of a monthly support group that I never wanted to qualify for and that I never wanted any other mother to have to join. I attend the Mom’s group which is designed for mothers who have experienced the death of an adult child.

I’ve now been with this group for 3 ½ years. We have bonded with one another in such a profound way, that I feel that every child represented in the group has now become one of our own children. I have spent my grieving days with these wonderful moms who share my sorrow and I feel at peace knowing our children are all together providing us with the peace and the ability to love and support one another as “get its”.  Each one of us understands what it’s like to lose a child. We get it and we love and support each other and have a bond that will never be broken.