Companioning

The Foundation of the Grief & Loss Center

Our Center embraces Alan Wolfelt’s companioning model throughout our programming and individual sessions. The word companion, when broken down into its original Latin roots, means com for “with” and pan for “bread.” This means that when working with the bereaved, it is comparable to sharing a meal with a friend or equal. Dr. Wolfelt offers 11 tenets that we follow when walking alongside our clients through their grief journey.

1. Companioning is about being present to another person’s pain;
   it is not about taking away the pain.
   
   

2. Companioning is about going to the wilderness of the soul with another human being;
   it is not about thinking you are responsible for finding the way out.
   
   

3. Companioning is about honoring the spirit;
   it is not about focusing on the intellect.
   
   

4. Companioning is about listening with the heart;
   it is not about analyzing with the head.
   
   

5. Companioning is about bearing witness to the struggles of others;
   it is not about judging or directing these struggles.
   
   

6. Companioning is about walking alongside;
   it is not about leading.
   
   

7. Companioning is about discovering the gifts of sacred silence;
   it is not about filling up every moment with words.
   
   

8. Companioning is about being still;
   it is not about frantic movement.
   
   

9. Companioning is about respecting disorder and confusion;
   it is not about imposing order and logic.
   
   

10. Companioning is about learning from others;
    it is not about teaching them.
    
    

11. Companioning is about compassionate curiosity;
    it is not about expertise.