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Fight, Flight, Freeze and COVID-19

Laurie Taylor

You are on a walk in the woods when suddenly a huge grizzly bear stands directly in front of you. What do you do? You can run as fast as you can. You can fight the bear with all your strength. Or you can stand frozen in his path. 

COVID-19 is the huge bear that seems to have suddenly appeared and stands in front of us threatening our lives and the lives of our loved ones. We can try to run, but the threat of the virus is everywhere we go. It seems inescapable. We can try to fight by wearing masks and keeping six feet away from everyone, but instructions on how to fight changes often and there’s still no vaccine in our arsenal.

The only response we have left is to freeze. And with freezing comes loss of control in so many areas of our lives. Our “normal” has disappeared and we can’t find our “new normal” because each time we come close, new information becomes available that changes what we thought to be true.

When someone we love dies, our “normal” disappears. As we climb the steep stairway of grief, we put one foot in front of the other not really knowing where we are going or where we will land. Nothing seems familiar except for the small part of our lives that remains constant. However, COVID has stolen much of our “constant”. When we reach for the handrail of normalcy to regain our balance, we find that it’s shaky or no longer there at all. COVID has changed almost everything.

 As you cope with the grief of the death of your loved one and the loss of most of your “normal” due to COVID, you may experience one or more of the following:

  • A change in energy levels, increased use of alcohol or drug abuse, excessive worry, frequent crying, irritability and/or frequent angry outburst, the desire to be alone

  • Stomach issues including stomach aches and diarrhea, frequent headaches, appetite increase/decrease, sweating or having chills

  • Feeling anxious, fearful, depressed, angry, overwhelmed, sad or not caring at all

  • Forgetfulness, confusion, trouble concentrating, difficulty making decisions 

If you find yourself in freeze mode and are grieving the death of a loved one, please call us at 214-452-3105. We are talking with clients by phone and meeting with all our grief support groups through Zoom. You don’t have to grieve alone. We are here for you.