Freedom to Catch Fireflies of Joy

Laurie Taylor

Most of us find it very difficult to experience even a glimmer of joy when someone we love dies. We feel deflated, flat, void, empty and numb. “Anhedonia” is the term used to describe the absence of pleasure in our lives. People who have never experienced the loss of a loved one mean well, but they sometimes pressure us to find joy in each day. This is an unrealistic expectation. 

Our emotions and feelings serve the beautiful purpose of expressing what lies in the innermost part of soul when there are no words to adequately communicate what we are experiencing. Feelings aren’t right or wrong. They are just feelings. When we grieve, it’s important to embrace and process all “the feels”. The only way to get through grief is to grieve.

It’s also important to experience and appreciate the fleeting moments of joy we find as we make our way on this journey. I often think about my childhood in South Louisiana. Every summer we would get a Mason jar, punch holes in the metal lid and spend our evenings outside catching fireflies. 

The darkness was so deep that we couldn’t see our hands in front of our faces. We didn’t mind because this made seeing the fireflies that much easier. Scores of glowing little fireflies would circle around us as we stretched to catch them and place them in our Mason jars. As we added fireflies, our jars would light up a little more. We captured as many of the fireflies as we could and treasured each tiny flicker of light.

As you continue on your journey, look for the fireflies. Reach high for them. When you catch just one little flicker of light, hold on to it and treasure it in the moment. Place it carefully in your jar to remind you that there is still light in this world. There is still hope. Maybe. Just maybe, you’ll fill your jar with tiny flickers of light that one day will illumine your way back to happiness. It’s hard work to catch fireflies in the darkness. As you drop each one in your jar, remember that hope and joy are returning one little flicker at a time.