Grief and Love… Forever Intertwined

Laurie Taylor

The death of a loved one often stops us in our tracks and transports us to a chaotic state of intense pain and disbelief. It’s as if we separate from our body and part of us is floating in the realm of “other worldliness” while the other part goes through the motions of everyday existence. We have never hurt this badly before and we see no end to the pain. Our loved one isn’t coming back and we can’t imagine the return of hope and joy in our lives.

Grief is often excruciatingly painful. This is why we tend to fight grief and do our best to try to ignore it, run from it or turn to unhealthy ways to escape it. We have been taught that grief is our enemy, a sign of weakness, and something to be overcome and destroyed. We have been taught to hurry up and “get over it” and to “move on”. We are never taught that grief is our friend and beautifully designed to help us navigate our way through life’s most painful experiences.

A few years ago, I made a life altering discovery. I finally came to understand that grief is love. When someone we love dies, our love for them becomes so painful and difficult that we call it grief. As the pain intensifies, it becomes even more difficult to recognize it as love. After the season of deep, overwhelming grief subsides and the intensity begins to lower, it begins to become more recognizable as the love it was all along the journey. 

Grief is love. How natural it is to deeply grieve those we love. And how natural it is for the intensity of the pain to eventually lower as we embrace our grief and process it in healthy ways. 

Our hearts are with you as you grieve your precious loved one. Hold on to the hope that the intensity of the pain will eventually lower and your love for them will become more recognizable as the love it always has been. 

Grief and love are forever intertwined. Embrace them both.