Grief, Grad and Dad
By: Isaiah Mendoza

I experienced the gut-wrenching feeling of grief when I lost my dad, Camilo Mendoza. He was only 37 when he died. The day was September 6th, 2021. It was one o’clock in the morning, and all I could hear was my mom and grandma crying as they tried to find the courage to tell me my dad was dead.

I was confused when they gave me the news. I didn’t know how to handle this situation and wondered why I wasn’t crying. I just lost my dad. Wasn't I supposed to cry like everyone else? I just sat on my couch looking at our wooden floor while the thoughts swished around my head like wine in some fancy cup. I wondered if I was grieving the proper way.

A month passed and my emotions evolved from being like a glass of swishing wine to constantly being poured out. My mom was concerned and told me about a place called SAM’s (Same As Me) that helps kids who have lost someone they love. I was a bit confused at first. You mean other kids also lost someone important in their lives? I was a bit skeptical, but I wanted something to help my mom and me through this tough time. We both needed to understand what it meant to grieve for someone.

The first night I attended the teen group I met several kids, all with unique personalities and stories waiting to be told. I didn't speak during the first five sessions. As I listened to the other kids tell their stories, I felt their warmth and acceptance. After that, I became comfortable enough to share my story. I really related to the other teens -- especially when they shared how annoying it is for someone to say, "I'm sorry for your loss. I'm here if you need anything" when that would be the last time we would ever see or hear from that person.

Over time, I slowly opened up and became friends with the other teens in my group. We shared our stories and learned how to grieve in a healthy way. The biggest thing I learned is there is not one proper way to grieve. We each grieve in our own way. It's okay to be angry, happy, depressed, shocked, confused, or annoyed while grieving. 

What separates SAM’s from any other grief counseling is that they allow you and even encourage you to feel and go through all the emotions of grief. They understand because they have also lost someone they love. I respect and appreciate everyone at SAM’s.

My dad and I faced many challenges, but near the end of his life I considered him to be the best dad a son could have. He was proud to be from Dallas, and he loved teasing me and my siblings with his heavily animated voice. His last words to me were, “I’m proud of you, son. Keep working hard.” Because of him, I always strive to do my best. I know my dad will always be a part of me.  

I’m looking forward to attending Texas A&M this fall. Because of my experience at SAM’s, I plan to be a licensed professional counselor so that I can help others through the difficult times in their lives. I know my dad would be proud.