Beth playing the cello
Hope for Brokenhearted Parents
By: Barbara and Sam Wilson
Beth, the oldest of our three children, was a bright and happy little girl, gifted in so many ways and loved by her family, friends, and teachers. For her brother, two years younger, she was chief playmate as they acted out scenes from Narnia and shared a love for books, science and math. She cared deeply for her sister, eight years younger, and created for her personalized computer games, accompanied by Beth’s own cello music. As her favorite teacher said of her, “Aren’t we all blessed to have Beth as part our lives?”
Beth was a committed Christian, active in choir and in leading children and youth. She was a talented cellist who played in school and community orchestras throughout her life. Beth excelled academically in every subject, but was a truly brilliant and innovative mathematician. She earned her bachelor’s degree from Baylor University and master’s from University of Wisconsin, Madison. The math department at Baylor, within days of her death, established a memorial award in her name to be given each year to the top graduating senior. One of her professors told us the highest accolade they speak about their top students is that student is “almost as good as Beth!”
Beth was shy and quiet and was on the high-functioning end of the autism spectrum. She married unwisely a man who was manipulative and evil. Beth was a loving mother who treasured their two sons, who were two and four when her husband murdered her in March of 2015 in an attempt to collect life insurance money.
An article about the Center in the Dallas Morning News led us to contact Laurie, whom we had briefly met years earlier. We emailed Laurie who invited us to come meet with her. She first connected us with a support group for grieving parents, but it was not a good fit due to the nature of our daughter’s death. She then began a small homicide grief group, with the intention of having a six-week program. At the end of that time, we all asked if we could continue and add, as needed, new members. The group, and we say this with sadness because no one should lose someone they love to homicide, grew from there.
The homicide grief group has become an incredible support group for us and for others as we walk through the difficult process of dealing with the criminal justice system while grieving the sudden and violent loss of our loved ones. We have walked with each other through court hearings, trials, and the aftermath. When the trial of our daughter’s murderer was delayed again and again – we had seven “definite” trial dates on the calendar over a period of two years – we would have completely fallen apart without the assurance others could give us regarding similar delays. It helped that two members of our group are lawyers who could give us insight into the court processes! Laurie even drove hours to be with us for part of the trial of our daughter’s murderer.
Laurie has helped us to see that, in some ways, grief intensifies after the trial, because the focus on justice changes to a focus on the finality of our loss. Those of us who are further down the path are there to help those who are just beginning their terrible journey, with advice and clarity and compassion. We have developed lasting friendships in this group as we share our grief with others who “get it”. We share not just our sadness and despair, but our stories – many told with laughter as well as tears. We remember with each other important days such as our loved one’s birthdays and heaven dates – and we celebrate life events with group members. It is likely we are the only homicide grief group in existence who has had a baby shower at the end of one group meeting!
We believe this group is the only active homicide grief group in North Texas. While other programs on grief are available at many churches and organizations, most are limited in time and general in curriculum. But grief from homicide is a different kind of grief, and we need to be an ongoing part of this particular community who understands the unique complications of this kind of grief. We are honored to have the opportunity to help other grievers by donating to the Grief and Loss Center and to the silent auction fund raisers.