Often when we experience the death of someone we love, well-meaning friends and family members tell us to be strong. This powerful word clearly sends the message that we should quickly buck up and move on. We should ignore the pain, stop the crying and get on with our lives. After all, our loved one is in a better place and wouldn’t want us to be unhappy.
Ignore this advice. Although they mean well, they are inadvertently sending you down the road of unhealthy grief and unattended sorrow. Please don’t buck up and move on. Please don’t attempt to shove the pain away. Please fully embrace your grief and muster the courage to experience all the feelings, think all the thoughts and feel all the pain that naturally comes with the death of someone you love.
Those who haven’t experienced grief don’t understand we are not mourning where our loved one is. We are grieving where they are not. And this isn’t selfishness. It’s pure love. And although meant to be comforting, how do they know that our deceased loved one would be disappointed if they knew we were unhappy? Of course, we are unhappy. They died and we miss them terribly. What an unrealistic expectation to not be unhappy!
You have experienced the death of someone you love with all your heart. It’s unbelievably sad. It’s incredibly hard, but you can do hard things. You can grieve your precious loved one with all your heart and soul. I promise it won’t always hurt this badly. You can do this hard thing because you are strong.
Embrace your sorrow and fully experience it, because grief truly is the home of the brave.