The Elevator
The first few months of grief are surreal. We often feel suspended in space, no longer belonging to this world, but unable to find our way to the next. We try to find our bearings, to drop our anchor in our new life, but we continue to float, disconnected from reality, yet pulled back into it for split moments.
We find ourselves on the elevator that moves us from our old life with our loved one to our new life without them. We long to get off the floor, where everything was still normal, and our loved one was physically with us, and all seemed right with our world. In protest, we repeatedly pound on the button to force the door open, but it remains tightly shut. It slowly dawns on us that the world we once knew no longer exists. The door is never going to open to that floor again.
We reluctantly push the button to another floor, and the elevator slowly moves to our new life full of unknowns. The door opens just enough to catch a glimpse of life without our loved one. We stay on the elevator, not quite ready to embark and embrace our new world. The elevator has become our safe space where we can grieve and process all that has happened. We cocoon there until we are ready to emerge as butterflies, breaking free to explore our new reality, our new life.
The elevator doors open more widely over time, giving us longer glimpses of our emerging world. We begin by venturing just a few steps, then step out a little further to explore what our new reality looks and feels like. We always return to our elevator to simply sit and ponder our life that was, that is, and that is to be. Each time we leave, we stay longer, adapting to our new world with a growing understanding that we are moving forward with our loved one, not moving on without them. We grow in courage and eventually discover we can find purpose and meaning in our lives again. We can find ourselves again and embrace our new world, still holding our loved one close.
One day, when we least expect it, we realize we haven’t returned to our elevator for longer than we ever thought possible. We discover we are increasingly more comfortable outside its nurturing walls. Our courage and strength grow, allowing us to finally drop our anchor into our new world.
Our old world becomes a sacred space in our memory, replacing chaos and uncertainty with peace and direction. Our new world nurtures us with purpose, meaning, and a beautiful new journey. Still standing close by is our beloved elevator, welcoming us back to sit, ponder, and process anytime we need it.