The Privilege Of Innocence

We were nearing the end of our support group meeting when a parent shared that they now understood the privilege of innocence. They explained they didn’t realize how privileged they were to have not known such profound grief. They were innocent of the knowledge of the intense pain one feels when someone so deeply loved dies. They knew nothing of the incredible strength it took just to get out of bed each morning. They now understood and longed to return to the privilege of innocence when their child was still alive.

This precious, grieving parent opened my eyes to the realization that one of the most life-changing losses we experience when a loved one dies is the privilege of innocence—longing for the life we had before death holds its own grief. Life may not have been perfect, but it was complete because we shared it with our loved ones. The weight of grief didn’t crush life, the longing and yearning for someone we love so deeply. Life was innocent.

We often talk in our groups about the Get Its, and the Don’t Get Its. There is no way to understand the heartache and challenges of grief until we personally experience the death of someone we love. The cost of becoming a Get It is incredibly high. We suddenly lose the privilege of innocence and enter a world of awareness that is filled with confusion, numbness, and disbelief that deconstructs life as we know it.

As you adjust to the loss of your privilege of innocence, it’s important to know you will also adjust to your new awareness. You will get through the most intense seasons of your grief. It’s not a question of “if” you can do it. You already are.