Losing a Son, Finding Hope
By: Ben Baker

My oldest son, Ben Baker III, was always a very active, extremely smart and loving child. What I believe made Ben so unique was his inclusion of everyone. He had friends from all walks of life – those who looked very different from him and did not have the same financial resources he did – neither of which ever deterred him from forming a bond. I believe his outlook on life and befriending many, regardless of their similarities and differences, would have served him well in college and beyond. 

I’ll never forget running late to pick Ben up from high school and calling to let him know. I was both surprised and incredibly touched by his response – “It’s okay dad, don’t worry about it. I know you’re working hard for our family”. Knowing that my high school son saw the work I was putting in to help take care of our family was something that moved me to tears. 

He was what I jokingly called an athletic nerd. He enjoyed playing basketball with his friends for years and played through his sophomore year in high school. He enjoyed following his previous playmates all the way through high school, where they won the district championship his senior year.  

Ben died on July 26, 2015, in a tragic car accident. A recent high school graduate, he was only 18 years old. He was looking forward to attending Baylor University, my wife’s and my alma mater in just a couple of months. His death changed the trajectory of our family’s life forever. He was survived by his mom and my wife, Allison, his younger brother, Alexander, and me. 

After Ben’s death, Allison and I sought counsel at our church. A counselor there referred us to the Grief and Loss Center, where we met with Laurie. She sat and listened as my wife, my younger son and I talked about our grief. Grief journeys look differently for everyone, even those within the same family unit. 

I believe that the support someone can receive from the Grief and Loss Center, whether via individual sessions with Laurie or via support group, is the greatest thing the Center can offer individuals and families. The loss of a loved one leaves so much pain, and it is very comforting to know you don’t have to walk through that pain without the support of others who understand loss. The Grief and Loss Center can provide a sense of much-needed community as everyone grieves differently.  

If our Center is not readily available, the pain goes unnoticed, and the need is too great. I am honored to serve on the board of such a caring and dedicated community and look forward to ways I can help advance the Center’s mission for others who experience grief and loss.