Mother’s and Father’s Day Perspectives

Laurie Taylor

It’s that time again. Mother’s Day and Father’s Day are upon us. For some, these holidays provide the opportunity to celebrate parents through cards, gifts and family gatherings. For others, these days are difficult and for some, they are even unbearable. 

Over the years, our clients have taught me so much as they’ve shared their stories and processed their grief. They are the experts and graciously invite me to walk with them on their grief journeys. I listen for the priceless truths they impart. I’m so grateful for the opportunity to learn from them. These are just some of the insights our clients have given me about Mother’s and Father’s Day through the eyes of grief.

Children of all ages grieve the death of their parents. Most parents were loving and nurturing, but not every child shares that experience. Some feel wounded from the parents they had and long for the kind of person they wish their own parents had become. Some children long for the parent who died before they were born, or for the parent who chose not to be part of their lives. Some mourn the parent who abandoned them later when their beliefs and values didn’t align with parental expectations. The loss of a parent in whatever form is deeply felt, especially on these two annual holidays focused on mothers and fathers.

Parents profoundly grieve the death of their children no matter what age the child was when they died. From miscarriage to a stillborn baby to a young child to a teen to a young adult or middle-aged child, a grieving parent experiences profoundly deep heartache. Some parents even live long enough to lose a child who is a senior adult themselves. Age doesn’t matter. The death of a child brings the deepest sorrow a parent can experience. Mother’s and Father’s Day magnify the absence of a beloved child.

Grief is deep for other profound losses that are seldom acknowledged on days that honor parents. Some among us long to be a parent, but infertility, singleness, health issues, etc. prohibit the fulfilling of their dream of having a child. Others may have placed their child for adoption and still love them deeply. 

As a child or a mother or a father grieving loss, please know our hearts are with you no matter your circumstance. You are not alone. We hold you close to our hearts. Our sincere desire is that you find comfort and hope on your journey of grief, even on hard days like Mother’s and Father’s Day.