Our Last Act
Laurie Taylor

It’s no secret that I love working with children, teens, and adults who have experienced the death of a loved one. This is my passion. I’ve done this work for over 45 years and have seen many changes along the way. However, the stigma of death by suicide and drug overdose remains strong.

When I talk with parents and other loved ones of those who have lost their lives to suicide or who died as the result of a drug overdose, I am quick to tell them that our last act does not define us. Mental illness, impulsivity, disease and addiction are powerful forces that sometimes make decisions in our lives that we would never choose to make. And, tragically these choices sometimes lead to death.

I’ve listened to the stories of countless loved ones of all ages who were truly beautiful, wonderful people who fought with all their might to stay clean, to regain their mental health and to have the lives they longed for. They felt ashamed and defeated because of the monsters that relentlessly stalked them and the stigma that ensued. They fought and they fought hard to get control over their lives, their mental health, their addictions, and their impulsivity, but they died in spite of their fight to live.

It’s time that we understand that our last act does not define us. We are not an addiction or a mental illness. We are not an overdose. We are not a suicide. The act that takes our lives happens in minutes, sometimes seconds. There is miniscule amount of time compared to the depth and breadth of our lives.

The next time you learn that a friend or family member has experienced the death of a loved one to suicide or addiction, please understand they haven’t lost a “suicide victim” or an “addict”. They haven’t lost a statistic. They’ve experienced the death of someone they love and who they will miss until the day they draw their last breath. Be there for them. Don’t ask questions. Just be present.

And, most important of all, remember that our last act does not define us.