Rediscovering Hope After Losing My Mom

By: Megan Ziots

When I was 22 years old, I lost my mom to Stage IV colon cancer. I had just graduated from college and had been living in Los Angeles for nine months when I got the call from my dad that things were getting worse. I jumped on a plane and headed straight to the hospital when I arrived in Dallas. My mom passed away a week later. She was only 52 years old.

After the shock and numbness began to disappear after her funeral, I realized that I felt more isolated than ever. Even though tons of family members and some close friends of mine came to support us, I was suddenly all alone and in the midst of an identity crisis.

I suddenly felt like I needed to talk about my grief, but I didn’t know how or who with. I didn’t have any friends my age who had lost a parent and the ones I did have slowly began to act differently around me until we ultimately grew apart. One day, I Googled grief groups in Dallas and came across the Grief and Loss Center, specifically the Young Adult Grief Group. It was something I had never come across. A group just for those ages 19 through 35.

First, I met privately with Laurie Taylor, who listened to me with such empathy and understanding that I finally felt my first sigh of relief since my mom died after visiting with her. She could relate to me on a general note on the crazy things people said to you after losing a loved one, and then more particularly on things millennials experience after losing a parent at a young age. I learned so much after that first meeting. 

Then I attended my first Young Adult meeting where I sat at a large table with other people my age who had lost a parent or sibling. Though I mostly listened that first time, it was such a help to be able to relate to other young adults who have experienced the same things. Just knowing that I wasn’t the only one our age who had gone through this kind of loss gave me a sense of hope again.

Now, more than five years later, I still appreciate what the Grief and Loss Center has given me. I remember during one of my first meetings, Laurie asked us about something that made us feel hopeful recently. I didn’t usually speak up, but I told the group that just laughing at something that week made me feel hopeful. My mom was one of the kindest and funniest people I knew and I’ll always reminisce about laughing together.

For a long time after my mom passed away in 2017, I didn’t think that I could ever feel happy or hopeful again. The Grief and Loss Center played a huge part in changing this for me — just by providing a safe place to listen and speak with others who have gone through the same thing. I’m excited to start my position this year as a Board Member and do my best to give back to the organization that has done so much for me.