Siblings Find Hope after Family Homicide through SAMs

By: Aidan Murphy (age 17) and Madison Murphy (age 14) 

 
We learned the hard way that kids of all ages need to grieve. The loved one we lost was our Aunt Lindy Dobbins.  She died in a very bad way, as she was murdered on August 27, 2015, in St Augustine, Florida.  She was helping her friend Amanda who was in a bad marriage. Her friend’s husband showed up to the house with a gun and shot and killed Lindy and Amanda, while two other people in the house with them were able to escape.  

Our Aunt Lindy was one of the best people we have ever met, such a spark, a bright spot in this world.  We remember coming home from school that day and wondering why our Dad was already home since he was usually at work. We then learned the news that Lindy was dead and that we were all going to fly to Florida to be with our Uncle Chris, our cousins Christopher, Ava, and Patrick, our grandparents, and all of Lindy’s family.

We got connected to the Grief & Loss Center through some research our mom did as well as from a referral from my Dad’s HR team at work.  It was nice that the Center was located so close to our home in Lakewood so we could easily get to the onsite meetings.

We participated in the Center’s group for children, SAMs, which means “Same As Me”.  We were only 10 and almost 8 years old at the time this happened and until that point, had never experienced a death in our family, much less a death like this.  While we would attend the SAMs group, our parents would attend a parent grief group.  My Mom also started attending a group specifically for victims of homicide, as unfortunately the need for different and more specific groups started to be noticed by the counselors.

The Grief & Loss Center has helped us so much. From the very first meeting, they were there to help us with open arms.  The Center and the SAMs group helped us to deal with the pain of our loss as well as understand and deal with what happened to our beloved Aunt.  It helped to know that other kids have experienced something similar in losing a family member, even if it was different than a homicide.  And we also learned that we were not alone in our pain, that it will hurt,  but it will get better.  

In order to support the Grief & Loss Center, we helped raise money for the Center one year for our birthday. Our parents have supported the Center by attending their annual dinner and auctions.  Our Mom has also helped facilitate the Homicide Group when Laurie needed assistance and has shared Lindy’s story with other members.  

This Center is different than others because we feel like when we were there, we were really part of a family and that allowed us to connect on deeper levels. Laurie Taylor is amazing and has helped us and our family through this grief journey.  She and her team listened to us when we needed to share but also understood that we may not want to talk sometimes.  

We would recommend the Grief & Loss Center to other kids because we feel like it helped us a lot in processing our Aunt Lindy’s death.This type of unexpected loss is really hard, as you never expect a family member to be murdered.The SAMs team was very helpful in getting us to understand the situation as best as we could. They also encouraged us to remember how good Lindy was as a person as opposed to only remembering how she died. Laurie is one of the best people we have ever met, and she and her team are always open to helping anyone who is struggling with their grief.