The Cowboy Who Showed Up
After years filled with love, adventure, and hardship, losing my husband, Kelly, challenged me to find new meaning and hope through grief. This is the story of how I discovered healing, gratitude, and the importance of honoring his memory as I move forward.
Kelly and I met in 1983 at the World Trade Center in Dallas, where we were fellow employees selling gold and diamond jewelry. I was nineteen, and he was twenty. Within a couple of months, we started dating and were together constantly from then on. We married five years later.
Kelly led an interesting life. When he wasn’t selling jewelry, he worked as a rancher on his family farm. He was kind and fun, and we had a lot in common. We both loved being outdoors, riding motorcycles, and taking care of the cows. We also shared a strong faith in God.
Kelly's health first started declining due to alcoholism and complications resulting from several major motorcycle accidents. The years of not taking care of himself took a toll on him, leading to his degenerative back disease diagnosis. As a result, he could no longer work, so I quit my job and stayed home to take care of him as his health continued to decline.
In 2015, when Kelly was fifty, he was diagnosed with a golf ball-sized brain tumor. After it was removed, his health started to improve, and for the first time in many years, he was back to his old self. His recovery from his brain tumor surgery was a miracle. However, his body and soul just gave out, and he passed on July 30, 2017.
After Kelly died, I looked for a grief support group to help with the pain of losing him. I found the Grief and Loss Center in the phone book (which was totally a GOD thing), and the minute I walked into my first group meeting, I realized I was not the only one grieving the death of a loved one. I was among family.
The center helped me understand that grief never goes away. Grief is a natural response to losing someone we love. I learned life continues. Because of my experience at the Grief and Loss Center, I continue to choose to honor his memory by living the life he would have wanted as I find new rituals and connections. Through my support group, I also learned how to give myself grace and to be good to myself.
It was at the Grief and Loss Center that I was able to focus on my gratitude for having had Kelly in my life. I’m so glad I can keep his wonderful memory alive and live life to the fullest.