The Arc of My Healing Journey

By: Lucy Higginbotham

Our only son was the last of our four children. Legally he was Robert Higginbotham, Jr but no one called him that – even when he was in trouble. Everyone called him Tex.  He was a funny, kind, goofy boy who loved all the boyish things… cars, hunting, football, etc. He was that kid in school who was a friend to all – the cool kids to the outcasts, the upper classman and those younger. He was not struggling with depression as many supposed when they learned of his death. He had learning differences and was struggling in school. Fear of flunking out and leaving his friends loomed heavily. So, despite a close, loving family and strong extended family, lots of friends and many happy things ahead, he chose a permanent solution to a temporary problem and left us with a single bullet on Wednesday, January 29, 2014. He was 15.

Ironically, I learned of the Grief and Loss Center (GLC) two years before I actually needed it. At that time, I wrote the “Meet Your Neighbor” profiles for the White Rock Lake Weekly and did a story on Laurie Taylor and the Center. I did not think of her again until a friend recommended her after Tex died. 

The GLC provided individual counseling for me, help for my family and a wonderful support group of other parents who’d lost a child. I think the fact that the resources are free provides an invaluable ministry to so many. Recipients of its programs may not believe in Jesus or even in God, yet they receive mercy and healing.  Common grace.

What’s unique about the GLC is the depth of experience and training that Laurie Taylor provides. Her compassionate expertise, combined with the variety of ways to connect, sets the Center apart from other grief-related resources. The Center filled gaps no one else could. 

There were two key ways the GLC kept me afloat when I was drowning in my sorrow.  The first was the counseling. The second was the invaluable guidance and support I received as I tried to navigate an incredibly painful spring semester at my son’s school. For example, when the school refused to allow me to have a gathering on campus for his classmates to sign his yearbook, Laurie said, “Host your own!” So, I did, and it turned out better than if I’d been on campus.  I could talk at length with his friends about their experiences and now have special messages from them I’ll always treasure.

As time has passed, I’ve been able to move more into a mentoring role for the parent’s group. I have served as a group moderator and resource for the newcomers. It helps me see the arc of my healing journey and the truth of Laurie’s words: It DOES get less difficult – not easier – just less difficult.