Three Musketeers and their Incredible Bond

Keri Pearson

Our precious son and only child, Dominique, was born Aug. 26, 1992, premature and weighing 1 lb 14 oz. Our entire world literally revolved around our baby for 28 years. Dominique loved to travel! We took him to 43 states – hoping for all 50. We planned out our future as the Three Musketeers – Ron, Keri and Dominique. Forecasting into the future, we envisioned moving to a retirement community where Dominique would feel comfortable when we were gone.

Well, that was not to be. Thursday, February 25, 2021, Dominique woke up with fever and trouble breathing. We took him to the hospital where he was admitted. During the pandemic, we were so thankful he didn’t have COVID and I was able to stay with him. His health declined quickly and was moved to ICU on Saturday. We feel very blessed that during these times, the hospital arranged for Ron to be with his son when decisions had to be made. Dominique passed away on March 1, 2021 at the age of 28. Cause of death on the death certificate was cardiac tamponade. 

Dominique’s amazing life was an ongoing roller coaster ride. In addition to being a preemie, Dominique had Down Syndrome and ASD (autism spectrum disorder). His health had been declining the last few years after development of a blood disorder and chronic kidney disease. His hematologist called us a few days after his passing, to give condolences and to say she thought Dominique probably also had lymphoma that originated in his heart. He was a strong, fun and determined young man who loved his family and brought us great joy.

Following Dominique’s death, my body definitely let me know that grief affects body as well as mind and spirit. Even after cardiac ablation, heart palpitations returned.  A month after Dominique’s funeral, my cardiologist physician’s assistant assured me that the new palpitations were probably related to grief. The very best part of that doctor visit was a referral to Laurie Taylor with the Grief & Loss Center.

Laurie and I talked shortly after my cardiologist visit. I shared with her all about Dominique, especially his love for dancing and travel. She was so comforting and reassuring. Ron and I have learned more than we ever wanted to know about grief. One of the wonderful things that helped early on was a phrase that Laurie said: “You can grieve any kind of way as long as you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else.” So simple, but when you don’t know what to do after a loss like this, this one sentence helped us get by day to day.

Our monthly support group meetings via ZOOM have helped us so much. One important thing that Ron and I learned is that our ways of processing grief is different and that’s ok. It is so helpful being in a group with parents that “Get It”. We know that authentic communication is key. Sharing our feelings as well as listening to other parents who have also lost a child has been transformative for us both. 

Laurie put into words how we felt: Grief is Love with nowhere to go.

As a result of the education and support we have received from the Grief & Loss Center, Ron and I have become stronger together and in our faith. As parents, we never thought about our life without our sweet guy, but we now have support and tools we use on a daily basis as we continue to deal with the loss and integrate it into our lives. No one wants to belong to this group of parents but for those of us who do belong, it means so much to have special people (Laurie Taylor and a group of other parents) who truly understand.

We have been actively involved with the Grief & Loss Center for over a year now, have referred two other moms to the Center and have made donations to the amazing non-profit organization that helps so many people at such a difficult time in their lives.

No one should have to go through the loss of a child alone. When Laurie says she’s holding Dominique and us close to her heart, it means everything!!