In the weeks and months following the death of a loved one, we continually process the days preceding their death, their actual death and the days following their passing. The events play repeatedly with no relief from the devastating sounds, conversations and images of losing one we love so deeply. The incredibly bright spotlight of grief shines on these most difficult memories blinding us to the beautiful, precious memories we shared with them before they died.
The weight of their absence, the heaviness of a future without them, and profound sadness permeate everything we think, feel and do. We are quickly frozen even if their death was expected. Although we may have known they were going to die, there is no way to prepare for the depth of grief we experience. Every dimension of our lives is affected – the physical, emotional, cognitive, social, and spiritual.
Grief’s glaring spotlight draws our focus to the final moments of our loved one’s life. The pain of our loss is so deep and strong that all the wonderful memories we have of them are hidden in the dark shadows of sorrow. All the while, the dim stage lights are invisible to our grieving hearts, but they hold the treasured memories of life before the loss.
Somewhere during our journey through the darkness of grief, the relentless blinding of the spotlight begins to lose intensity. Those beautiful and precious moments we spent with our loved one come out of the shadows, and we finally rest in their glow. The spotlight of pain and hopelessness loses its power, and the renewed hope and strength of the stage lights brighten our lives once again.
Grief’s journey is difficult. The spotlight is powerful and painful. Keep the hope. One day when we least expect it, the spotlight will gradually darken, and the stage lights will shine brightly as we continue our journey in the light of hope.