HOW DO PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT AGES RESPOND TO THE LOSSES OF THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC?
People of all ages have been impacted by the COVID-19 pandemic. We need to educate ourselves about how different people of different ages respond to this shared grief experience, and be sensitive to those who don’t necessarily respond the way we do.
CHILDREN
Preschoolers and children who attend preschool, daycare or school are affected with a complete change in their normal routine. They miss their teachers and friends and miss the normalcy of a routine. They have less structure in their lives so boredom sets in.
In many cases, their parents are now responsible for their education in terms of securing and completing assignments. Most parents don't have training in education and don't know how to adapt curriculum to their child's particular learning style. Teachers are forced to manufacture "one size fits all" assignments and aren't able to easily adapt work to the child's needs. Children may become frustrated and feel a sense of failure as they struggle with assignments or have difficulty maintaining the attention needed to complete them.
Many working parents now work from home and cannot give their children their full attention. Children don't understand the shift in their new schedule. Before the pandemic when they didn't attend school, it was summer or a holiday. It's difficult for them to change from "out of school" play mode to "out of school" but really in school mode.
TEENAGERS
Teens miss the interaction with their friends and the socialization to which they are accustomed. They may or may not have the self-discipline to complete school assignments. Their learning style may require interaction, auditory input and more guided teaching. They lose all of these with the current school situation.
Teens miss the freedom of being out in the community, of meeting their friends, of having sleepovers and of dating. Boyfriends and girlfriends aren't able to physically be together if parents are strictly following quarantine guidelines.
Stress and boredom impact family life and cause tension and difficulty.
YOUNG ADULTS
Young adults miss their work family and the freedom to socialize and attend events. Teens actively use social media to cope with the isolation, but they really miss gathering with friends.
College students have to return home and live with their families again. This transition isn't easy with possible restricted freedom. Parents have to be the "bad guys" and prohibit their college students from breaking quarantine. There is tension between the young adults' newfound freedom to live independently and their return to the home of their parents where they may lose some of their freedom.
The way young adults thought this time in their lives would be and the reality they face are completely different.
MEDIAN ADULTS
Median adults often have children and also hold go-to-work jobs. There is tension between work and family, especially when school isn't in session and they suddenly are responsible for much of their children's education. They struggle with daycares being closed and even losing the support of grandparents who would normally help with the children but who must now isolate. They worry about the health of their parents who may be in the at risk age group.
Juggling all the demands can be debilitating, with little time to process their own personal losses.
OLDER ADULTS
Many older adults are still working and have had to learn to use technology to work from home to continue their work. They become frustrated with the new normal and feel they can't do their jobs as effectively because they may not be proficient in the technology that is now so important.
They miss their grandchildren and want to have contact with them but know they need to follow CDC guidelines. They are frustrated because they want to support their children by helping with grandchildren but are prohibited from doing so.
They may have the financial means and freedom to travel, but travel is almost nonexistent due to the pandemic.
They worry about their parents and other loved ones who may be in the at-risk group due to age or other underlying conditions.
SENIOR ADULTS
Senior adults understand they are in the high-risk group and try their best to follow CDC guidelines, often going above and beyond what precautions are required. They understand that the pandemic is a real threat to their health. They understand that their life will not be the same after the pandemic. They understand that there isn't sufficient data to discern the patterns of COVID-19 and its implications in society. They understand that the world will not be the same.
Seniors alter their plans for travel, because they've lived through enough national and world tragedies and crises to know that altering plans is a small price to pay for safety and security. They are frustrated and concerned, but understand that "it is what it is" and they have to adapt to their new normal.
Speaking as a member of this age group, we elders tend to have our priorities in life in order and understand that the pandemic cannot rob us of who we really are. We are survivors. We are fighters. We are willing to sacrifice. We do what we need to do to get through the pandemic. We've lived through hard times and we can make it through this difficult time if we do our part to follow the guidelines and protocols that professionals have set before us.
Part 2 in a 4 Part Series
