The difference between expectation and reality is loss.
We grieve that loss relative to its significance to us.
WHY HAS THE COVID-19 PANDEMIC CREATED SO MUCH GRIEF? AND HOW IS THIS EXPERIENCE SIMILAR TO PHYSICALLY LOSING SOMEONE?
The COVID-19 pandemic has brought great losses. Grief always follows loss. Canceled graduations, weddings, birthday parties and other milestone events are tangible examples of loss. Even if these cancelled events can be held virtually or through other creative means, it’s not what was expected.
The tremendous heartache of not being with a loved one who is hospitalized because of a life-threatening illness is such a devastating loss. Not being with a loved one when they die can be debilitating.
The difference between expectation and reality is loss. We grieve that loss relative to its significance to us.
The new normal forced upon us after losing someone we love isn’t “normal” at all. It completely changes the rhythm of our lives. It takes a long time to grow into that rhythm and to identify all the dissonance we are forced to face.
Grief is a wilderness journey. There is no map or formula for grieving. We are thrust into the unknown and find our way by slowly, carefully moving forward. The pandemic is no different. We know life is no longer “normal”, but we don’t have enough information or understanding of its impact to move forward without anxiety and fear and grief.
When we physically lose a loved one, we have no control over their death just as we have no control over the pandemic and its ensuing ramifications. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought great uncertainty, similar to the uncertainty we experience when we grieve the loss of a loved one.
Fear of the unknown is an underlying part of grief. The inability to predict the course of COVID-19 and the lack of a vaccine to prevent it adds to the fear and uncertainty. The pandemic has brought a personal “new normal” that translates into a societal new normal. Nothing is the same. We are all experiencing a new and scary paradigm.
Part 1 in a 4 Part Series